Rachel Maddow
Rachel 'Mad Cow' Maddow is best known for her amazing news research and honesty! Maddow Facts * Has a girl's name * Is either a lesbian or a man, we can't tell * From Taxachussetts * Greets people with his trademark gangsta Thizz face * Gradeated frum Stanfurd Univursity * Practiced in the arts of pronunciation * Is one of those subversive activist liberal types * Is called Rachel The Baby Slayer in certain pentagrams * Rhodes Scholar aka Euro-influenced * Has been involved in actual protests against fine American values * Is in fact a Doctor that doesn't practice * Has no soul * Is the only transvestite to ever appear on Keith Olbermann's show * Currently involved in a polygamist relationship with Yogi the Bear and Hillary Clinton * His doctoral thesis was on women in prison movies from the 1930s. Show on Communist NBC As Keith Olbermann's transvestite lover protege, Mr. Maddow was given his own show on MSNBC. Some names for the show were bandied about, such as Kickass w/Rachel Maddow, Liberal LGBT News and Cooking Up News with Rachel. Execs finally settled on a name that no one ever would have guessed, The Rachel Maddow Show. The format for his show is to repeat all the mindless talking points that Mr. Olbermann made on his show, in order to "ram home" (hmmmm) MSNBC's political message of the day, just like the great and honorable FOX News, except with a despicable lefty slant that Stephen will soon denounce with a wag of his finger. In a 'shout-out' to gays everywhere, Rachel introduced a segment called "It's Pat", featuring his fake uncle, MSNBC political commentator Pat Buchanan. In a shocking display of nepotism, he secured steady employment for Pat, a right-wing gasbag conservative, on his leftist show. The reference to ''SNL'''s popular series of skits with the androgynous Pat, is meant as a secret signal to LGBT viewers everywhere that his uncle Pat is in the closet tolerant of gays. One of his other segments is called "Ms. Information" where he talks about stories missed by the other media outlets that don't give shows to gay men. November 6, 2008 Nailing * host of The Rachel Maddow Show, Stephen wonders who it is? Oh, it's Rachel Maddow! * he's half a Newfie * he has no Peabodys ** just say you have some, no one checks * tries to go beyond the surface, or shiny part * he doesn't look like a policy dork * believes government has a role in governance ** it's not the answer * we only have one government is Benedict Arnold talk * Katrina was a success ** because the government isn't supposed to help ** they proved it * President Bush smells like a pine forest ** also has soft hands *** like shaking hands with the Pillsbury doughboy * just present the news without the satire * may need a hemp-powered radio to get Air America Radio * Olbermann is crazy ** thinks he's a chicken * called Olbermann the king of cable ** the first guest to get a nailing from Stephen's Mob * as a consolation, Stephen declared him the "Queen of cable" See Also * Stuff he reads in the news and doesn't like * Stuff he doesn't like about The Greatest President Ever * Stuff he's paid to say that favors Barack Hussein Obama External Tubes *Rachel Maddow Show Front Page *Rachel Maddow loses case! Real America celebrates! Category:Going to Hell